i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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