I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
