Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
