ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
