I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
