just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
