Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
