I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
