There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
