Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
