weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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