i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
