I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Let's paint friendship bongs
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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