No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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