did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
