Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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