well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
