I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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