Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
