lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
