I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
