That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
