im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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