im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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