wanna go halves on a baby?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Randomize
