I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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