You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
