Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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