There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
