I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
