508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
