So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
