i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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