I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
