Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
