Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
