Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
