Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
