Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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