dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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