Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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