I'm drive I can fine osifer
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
me + whiskey = a bad person
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
