We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
