spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
