i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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