Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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