all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
