So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
