I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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