It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I want to be your penis for a week.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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