Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
