4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
