Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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