i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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